Your Play Professionals

Meryl Victoria is a somatic sex and intimacy coach. Lauren DeRusha is a breakthrough doula and professional dominatrix.

We knew immediately upon meeting that we had work to birth into the world.

Our journeys took similar paths: childhoods so painful we were dissociated from them. Both so good at achieving, we each performed our lives like VERY good girls until we woke up in our 30s and began our healing journeys.

We both saved our own lives using personal development tools, but we had to hack a bunch of different methods together to find the thing that really worked for us. Meryl went deep into somatics, Lauren went deep into conscious kink. We both fell in love with parts work.

Our personal experience and deep-seated belief is that sexual shame is one of the most painful forces in our lives. And there is an absolute dearth of safe containers for people to explore their sexual shame so they can heal it.

We created Shameless Coaching to fill that gap. We bring a unique skillset that allows us to work with people around sexual breakthroughs in relationships from a holistic perspective.

Because to actually level up your sex life in relationship is to activate your attachment wounding. If you want to go there with your partner, it’s going to be rocky. Most people never think about doing it with support, but why shouldn’t you?

We hold people through a series of unique processes: sharing their shamed desires, processing the feelings that come up for everyone in the relationship, giving healing to the parts that are activated so they can step aside, setting up and negotiating conscious BDSM scenes, holding space for deeply erotic scenes (we’ll leave the actual sex to you at home) integration, and life coaching to stick the landing of your new sex life.

We suffered so much in our healing journeys, and we don’t actually see a reason why healing should be so miserable. That’s why we focus on play and pleasure. We take healing seriously, and we are available to go with you to the dark places that are ready to heal. But then we’re going to remind you that shame doesn’t get to win. We’re going to invite you to have a laugh instead of a shame spiral. We’re going to care very deeply for your hearts, and cheer on your discovery and embodiment of the sex life that’s finally worthy of you.

Methodology

Session Components

  • Parts Work

    The Dreamer, The Rage Monster, The Negotiator, The Perfectionist. All of the parts that make up your inner world are vital players in shame and the ways it shows up in your sex life and relationships. Get to know and love them.

  • Somatic Role Play

    Give your body a reason to believe your shame won’t kill you. In co-created scenes, we play our way through shame and give your body a somatic memory to remind you of all you’re capable of.

  • Gentle Reparenting

    Come snuggle into our loving arms and tell us all about it. You get to have an embodied experience of your scared shamed parts being met with loving unconditional love.

  • Somatic Awareness

    Our bodies communicate with us in so many ways beyond what we’re habitually aware of. Deepening your sense of your body helps in everything from emotional regulation to accessing pleasure.

  • Talk Sessions

    Sometimes you need to slow down and talk it out. We open up space for processing, unpacking, and life coaching around integrating what you lean about yourself into your life and relationships.

  • Nervous System Care

    Our nervous system is a key player in our holistic wellbeing. Breathwork, mindfulness, and targeted nervous system practices in an environment of secure attachment brings your body into homeostasis & regulation.

  • Soulful Snacks

    Delight your inner child with their favorite treats as positive reinforcement for all the scary shame you're bravely facing together. Be it cookie dough, bologna, peach rings, or Yoohoo, it seriously helps.

  • Kink Exploration

    For those who desire, we use kink to get deeply in touch with the feeling and experience of shame. We will teach you how to safely use kink and BDSM as avenues to play and healing through an exploration of kink tailored to your desires.

Guiding Principles

  • Our shame spots almost always show up in our sex lives, so we find that aiming at sexual shame inherently addresses the other places in our lives where that shame pops up. Less shame means better sex and more pleasure everywhere!

  • We've all been told the story that deep healing work is hard and scary and will drag you through the mud. We believe that healing is just as possible through play. If laughter is the best medicine, why can't that be true for all of our pains?

  • The inner critic doesn't get to run the show here. When difficult feelings or protector parts show up, we take them seriously. We believe they are younger, frightened versions of yourself who are trapped in an old Hellscape, and we're delighted to stop and take the time to give them safety and bring them up to speed about the new, safe reality you're creating for yourself.

  • What's missing for so many people is a safe space to explore, try new things, make mistakes, and figure it all out. Our pleasure-centered coaching right-sizes shame and provides a safe, even delicious environment to explore and take the shamey edge off of your secret, painful inner world. Erase the story of "I can't have it" and give yourself permission to enjoy your life.

  • Our goal is to give you an understanding of your inner world of parts to foster deep self-compassion, and a lifelong toolkit for how to be in a more loving, kind, gentle relationship with yourself and your partner(s). Once you right-size the shame that has held you down, you create room to invite in the things you desire most.

Read our Ethics Statement here.